Indeed

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Easter is days away.

This Lent has felt long, but it has also flown by. I remember going to an Ash Wednesday service, and that feels like such a long time ago. I also feel like Holy Week has snuck up on me, but I’m really looking forward to it.

When I was a kid, Lent was all about giving something up. You give up a favorite food or a habit, and you’re supposed to use the time you’re thinking about that thing to pray. That was kind of the gist. At the church I grew up in, we used to “give up” the word Hallelujah for Lent and sing it loud and proud on Easter morning. It was a fun idea.

However, this year, at that Ash Wednesday service, it occurred to me that Lent isn’t fun. It’s not even about giving up a favorite snack for 40 days. It occurred to me that Lent is about taking a good, hard look inward and giving up the part of yourself that’s holding you back from a closer relationship with Christ.

I’m sure many of you are already well aware of that, but it was a small revelation for me.

The whole Bible is about God’s children constantly returning to their own toxic traits. We all have them. Our world is so obsessed with self-esteem that it’s pounded into our heads that we’re perfect just the way we are and don’t need to change a thing. While I don’t believe we should change ourselves for another person, I do believe that we should always be looking inward at the scummy, sinful parts and work on them. At least I should.

Just this week, I’ve realized (again) how selfish I am. I am also rigid, impatient, insensitive and generally a control freak. These qualities have been a part of me for as long as I can remember, but that doesn’t mean they should stay. They don’t bring me closer to Jesus, they don’t bring me closer to my husband or family, and they don’t make me a better friend.

Of course, we’re all sinners, and sinners have a tendency to revert to old habits. I mean, just check out the Old Testament. Any part, really. Even if I am able to improve my impatience, will I be patient forever? No. It’s something I struggle with every day, and I can’t do it without Jesus. His grace is the only thing that can help me to change the sinful tendencies. I never want to just give up on myself with the excuse of “that’s just the way I am.”

Because although Jesus came for me, just the way I am, He didn’t die so that I could stay that way.

He came so that I could live in an intimate, loving relationship with Him - no barriers. Sin is a major barrier, and the more room I make for sin, the less room there is for Jesus. The more excuses I make for my attitude and behavior, the farther away I push Christ.

It would be such a waste of that sacrifice if I were to just continue on living as if the world revolves around me. It doesn’t. I’m called to serve others. I’m called to love when I don’t feel like it. I’m called to show up as a reflection of Christ to my family and friends. I’m called to surrender myself to the One who does make the world spin around.

It’s not about me. It has always been about Him.

His life. His death. His resurrection. His victory.

He has defeated sin, shame and all of the scum in our lives, forever. Because of Him, I’m not tied to the pain and suffering of this broken world.

Jesus wins. We have victory. He is risen.

He is risen, indeed.

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." 1 Peter 1:3