Surprise! I Had A Baby
On December 6th, 2022, at 9:30 at night, Elliot and I welcomed our son into the world.
He was due December 23rd, and arrived a whole 2 1/2 weeks early. It’s been a week, to say the least, so please bear with me as this post is part blog post, part update, part baby announcement. Is it disorganized and a little all over the place? Yes, but so is my brain at the moment, so buckle up.
As a planner, I really do try to get everything done ahead of time, just in case something doesn’t go to plan. In fact, I usually try to plan around potential mishaps to prevent them from happening. I tend to over-plan, if you will.
For example, the week after Thanksgiving, we installed our carseat and had it checked, under the impression I would be driving around with a carseat base for a month, but hey, it was done. Our nursery has been pretty much assembled and organized for over a month now. I had a few things left on my list, but not many. I mean, I had 3 weeks left, and he could very easily come late. I had time.
On Monday last week, I joked with colleagues that the baby could come as soon as all my gifts were wrapped. Anytime after that would be fine with me. Well, ten minutes before my alarm went off on Tuesday morning, I was awoken by my water breaking.
Best laid plans, right?
Sixteen hours later, John William Salinas entered the world and was rushed to the NICU after a traumatic birth. He was cooled for 72 hours and has been healing there for the last week or so, and has made great progress. We still have a little ways to go, but I’m grateful for his health and the care he has received. He is everything I could have ever dreamed of and more, and I cannot wait to bring him home.
Needless to say, this is not what I had planned. I did not get skin-to-skin time with my baby, and still haven’t. I haven’t been able to breastfeed. I couldn’t hold my baby for the first few days, and every day there’s something new we’re keeping an eye on. It’s been a week of learning to pump, losing sleep, commuting to the hospital, attempting to recover and rest, and praying I can bring my boy home soon. It has also been a week of frustration, pain, disappointment and uncertainty. I am exhausted and I am sad.
While I tried my darnedest to be prepared for every little possibility, there is absolutely nothing I could have done to prepare for this. It didn’t matter if I had a flexible birth plan, meals prepped or my hospital bag packed and ready to go. It’s been a wild ride and I’ve been hanging on for dear life. My Type-A self felt so overwhelmed at first, until I realized that I wasn’t in control of the situation. I was behind on everything, and I couldn’t catch up even if I tried. Even now, there’s not much I can do as I need to let my body recover.
And do you know what?
We’ve had a village come through for us - making meals, cleaning our home, taking care of our girls, bringing coffee and snacks to the hospital, and even just coming by to hang out and keep me company as I try to rest at home. We have countless people lifting our family up in prayer. We have felt so loved and cared for, even with the hardship of navigating parenthood with a newborn in the hospital. While this past week may have been one of the most difficult I’ve experienced, it has also been full of blessings.
So there you have it. A baby announcement, an update and a little teensy blog post all wrapped up in a messy bow.
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6