Wait For It
Last week, I watched Hamilton for the first time. I know, I’m wayyyyy behind. It was amazing, and I’m officially obsessed. I’m listening to the soundtrack on repeat, because how can you not? The whole thing is just…SO. GOOD.
I’m an English/History person, so a Broadway musical about American history with tons of symbolism and excellent storytelling is 110% my jam. Also, the soundtrack is just a masterpiece, so I’m completely sold. For the last 3 days (okay, week), I’ve been stuck on the song “Wait For It”, performed by the character Aaron Burr. It’s about how Burr’s strategy for getting ahead is to lay low and wait for his turn, whereas Hamilton never stops pushing and fighting for what he believes in.
I’ve been thinking about it, and how I’ve kind of been in a phase of waiting. I’m waiting for this pandemic to be over to be able to go out freely and enjoy all things that I love. I’m waiting and waiting, and hoping that next year will be better.
Guess what?
It’s not working out for me. So I’ve decided I’m not going to wait anymore, because honestly, the world could end any time, and I don’t want to live the rest of my days waiting. That’s lame-sauce.
This week, I did a hard thing. I put in my two weeks at my part-time job.
I originally picked up that job because I wanted to learn more about marketing and to find if I would enjoy that kind of work. Turns out, I do really like it. But, I already have a full time job, and now that life is picking back up again, I’m finding myself running out of time.
I’m not a quitter. I’m a yes person, and I have a really hard time setting boundaries. 9 times out of 10, I would rather say yes and add one more thing to my plate than potentially disappoint someone by saying no. However, it also occurred to me that my next “free day” was in three weeks. Like I have things to do every day for THREE WEEKS. That’s INSANE. I don’t even have kids, WHY am I so busy?
It may have been me subconsciously waiting to see what the rest of this year looks like, or maybe waiting to see if my schedule miraculously clears up on its own (HA, like I’m not the problem. I’m totally the problem), but I’m done waiting.
I started this blog a year ago as a hobby. Something fun, for me to create and learn and grow. I try really hard to produce meaningful content, and it’s super hard to do that when the rest of my time is spent doing anything but. Then I sit down with 2 hours to write, and it’s the first time that week that my brain hasn’t been in 1,000 different directions. It’s shocking that I don’t instantly have a brilliant idea to write 500 words about. Truly shocking. Wow. My favorite hobby has become another chore on my to-do list, and that is the last thing I wanted for myself.
So I quit.
We all only have the time we’re given, and I want to spend mine doing the things I love, with the people I love. I want to enjoy my favorite seasons, even if they don’t look the same as they did last year. I want to spend a free afternoon with my pups at the dog park, or grabbing a pumpkin spice latte (it’s that time again, friends, and no I will not shut up about pumpkin spice everything) with my sister while we browse Marshall’s.
Sometimes doing the hard thing means choosing to do less. And I’m learning to be okay with that.
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7